August 23, 2011

The Last Day

Today is it.  The last day of Luke's little boyhood is over.  

Just yesterday I was rocking my brown eyed baby and watching his eyes droop to sleep.  Then I blinked.  Now he's packing his lunch and picking out his first day outfit.  How did that happen?

I distinctively remember my first day of kindergarten.  I remember who sat at my table.  I remember circle time.  I remember the pure, unadulterated excitement.  I don't remember much about the night before but my dad does.  He told me that as he was going to bed a few hours after he and my mom had tucked me in.  He went in to check on me and tuck up the covers.  Instead of being asleep, like I normally was at that hour, I was wide awake with a huge smile on my face.  He asked me what I was doing still awake.  "Excited, excited, excited!" was my reply.  In my five year old brain, this was better than Christmas.  It was school!

Now Luke will remember what the weather was like on the walk to school.  He'll remember how the classroom looked and who sat at his table.  He'll remember the sounds and smells of his first day.

It may not seem like it to him, but today was monumental to me.  It was the last day it will be just me and the boys during the day.  Now I have to trust others to take care of him, teach him and keep him safe from the hours of 8:15am to 3:00pm.  It's hard to give him up and send him off into the world.  I know the whole process is necessary in forming who he is as an individual, but that doesn't mean it's not frickin hard.  I'm going to bawl like a baby tomorrow.  I probably should stay away from the mascara. 

My emotions are so mixed.  I'm so excited for all the things he will learn and experience but I'm mourning the end of carefree days.  I can't wait to see who his friends will be and what he will become passionate about but I'm sad that I won't be there to watch him navigate his day.  I'm going to love watching him grow into a man, but I already miss my little boy.


Anonymous said...

It never gets easier baby girl, but you can know that this baby goes with so much love, Mom & Dad, Brother Noonie, Meemaw, papa, nana papa, extended family and most of all a loving God. He is so handsome too. Thinking of You and my baby boy....Love ya mom

corsarfam4 said...

How touching, lindsey. you are a great mom and your son is in God's hands. Those two things mixed together equals pure success for your children! I'll be praying for you on the first day of school!! Love ya, girlfriend!