Standing

I take a lot of stands on different things.  Sometimes its good, sometimes, not so much.  Last week, I took a stand on the importance of a healthy body.  I was going to make some changes to my junk food, sugar-filled diet and re-start my workout regimen.  Then the flu hit and totally knocked me down.  So much for that.

There is something very satisfying about telling people about these stands.  There can be healthy accountability, but most of the time, it's just to brag.  Not healthy, not nice.  Don't get me wrong, I think it's good to take stands.  It's good to be self critical, to take a stab at bettering oneself.  It's good to have accountability from those close to you, but when you are telling the lady sitting next to you at the PTSA meeting that you "don't do sugar," that's a different story.  Brag, look at me, I'm so healthy, brag, brag.

I should probably take a stand against Twix bars, though.  They don't really fit into the no-sugar, nothing artificial diet.  However, they do wonders for my mental health.  We will re-evaluate that one later.  After, the package is gone from the pantry.  Plus, since all of about two people come read my blog, I'm not really announcing it to the world.  Telling two people = not bragging.  Well, shoot, never mind, please forget I ever mentioned Twix bars.

There is something I think I should stand up for.  Something I want to stand up for.  There is something I want to get better at and I don't mind if the whole world hears me.  It won't be bragging because most likely, I will fail at it every single day.  It's actually quite embarrassing how horrible I will be at it.  I know I will fumble everyday, but if I can get just an ounce better, it will be worth it.

I want to get better at love.  I want to love others well.  I want to love my husband better, love my boys better, love my family better, love my friends better, love my neighbors better, love my community better, love the world better.  I have no idea how to do it, but I want to learn how.  I know it's more than just saying it to myself or others.  Love is action.

A couple of nights ago, I was hanging out with the boys in Jack's bed.  I was asking them how school was going, how recess was going, how the making new friends situation was going.  Jack told me there was this kid, who he sometimes hung out with at recess, who pushed him down after he caught the football.  Internally, I got all sorts of mad.  Who does this kid think he is?  I'll go push him down tomorrow and let's see how he feels!  Instead, I asked Jack if he's seen this kid push anybody else down.  He confirmed that this was more or less a regular thing lately.  I really wanted to give Jack permission to punch this kid in the nose but this whole love thing has been on my mind lately.  I told him that his job at school was to help those pushed-down kids.  His job was to offer his hand.  His job was to get those kids back on their feet.

As I tucked both boys in and walked out of their room, I patted myself on the back.  Then I remembered how earlier in the day, I yelled at a driver of a car who didn't stop to let us cross in the crosswalk.  I called him an idiot and thoroughly explained to the boys how stupid that driver was being.  Well, you win some, you lose some.  Baby steps, I guess.