December 9, 2011

An Uncontrollable Christmas

I have a pretty important announcement:

I am a control freak.

Yup, I admitted it.  Subconsciously I've known it for a long time, it's just taken me a while to verbalize it.  Sometimes my family and I benefit from it.  Think: meal calendars, organized toy bins, and extensively organized file cabinets.  Most of the time though, it is a sharp, dagger-like thorn in my side.  When the craziness starts to trickle down and touch Tim and the boys, it's not pretty.  For a long time, I was in denial.  Because Tim is so laid back, I fooled myself into thinking I was too.  Actually, that's just one of the reasons why we are perfect for each other.  Balance is a good thing and we even each other out.  But when things are out of my control, I fu-reak out! 

So, now that I have actually come out and said it, I should probably start working on it.  In the long run, it will be good because I will be able to let the boys do laundry, clean the toilets and do the dishes.  I will have to learn how to not care if the dishwasher isn't stacked to optimum capacity or if the shirts are not hung with the hanger hook pointing left.  In the long run, it will be less work and stress for me.  After all, I'm trying to raise them to be men who know how to cook, clean and maybe even sew a bit.  Your welcome, future daughters-in-law.

Currently, this Christmas season, my therapy is focused on a single type of decoration.  Tinsel.  So far, I'm not doing so well.  These metallic demons are invading every nook and cranny of my house.  One morning I rolled out of bed and found that I had been sleeping with a few pieces.  They hang off Clementine's jowls and Ping can't stay away from it, but Luke and Jack LOVE it.  I have to remind myself to relax and not spend every minute of the day picking the pieces up.  After all, Christmas is not about us being perfect; it's about realizing our imperfection and celebrating the birth of THE ONE who heals it.

I've made some other good steps so far.  I smiled and nodded when the total of our Christmas tree came up to $72!  Darn this non-evergreen state.  I laughed when the morning dog walk produced sparkly poop.  I've still got some work to do because I didn't have the optimum reaction when Jack kicked over and shattered a snow globe.  Pray for me please.  And pray that the tinsel magically stays on the tree branches.  It should, since each branch cost about a dollar each.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Congratulations for admitting it and for letting go. It's a great beginning. I have a new beginning too. OurTree is in the middle of the living room and I have to admit it looks pretty good! The apple doesn't fall far from the tree... Love, your Mom, the other control freak :-)