February 25, 2010


Lately, Luke and Jack have been constantly asking for toys that they want to get.  We've been telling them they have to save up their money for it or to put it on their next year's Christmas list.  A few days ago we've been trying to take a different approach because, quite frankly, we're tired of hearing what they want and I have a feeling the boys think they will get whatever they ask for.

I'm not sure if we've made mistakes in the past by getting them what they want or if this is just a new phase and a teachable moment.  Whatever it is, something has to change.  At times we want to get them little gifts but we definitely don't want spoiled kids who grow up to be adults who feel entitled to everything.

Tim has read up on the generation entering the workforce and has experienced many of the situations and attitudes experts have predicted and categorized.  For a lack of better terms, these people are generally spoiled brats.  I'm not saying that all are, but it seems to be a general trend.  Employees feel they are entitled to pay, promotions and benefits and don't want to put any effort to earn or achieve them.

As parents, we want our boys to be in the world but not of it.  Lightening McQueen and Mater are fine gifts but we don't want Luke and Jack to feel they are owed the cars.  I am open to any suggestions you have to offer.

Right now we are trying to remind them that they have some pretty awesome toys.  Instead of listing toys they want, we are asking them to list activities they want to do with us like freeze tag and playing baseball out in the backyard.  Hopefully this will refocus them and they will come to realize that things are not what is to be truly valued.  AND if they really want something, it will have to be earned.


Stacey Lawlis said...

Doubt this will be age appropriate for the boys at this point, but it might come in handy in the future... you can do one toy in, one toy out, where, when they get a new toy, they give one of their current toys to a local women & children's shelter (rather than stockpiling... it also helps keep you from being overrun by toys), and teach them about giving to others who might not necessarily have as many toys or a comfy home like they do. Kids have such soft hearts... once they get over the initial "mine" impulse, they sometimes really get into it.

Or, at Christmas, they could have their Christmas list as usual, but they also choose a gift for a gift drive or something.

Nothing so helpful as tangible reminders that we already have so much in comparison to others.

You and Tim are great parents... and you're gonna raise some great kids. Good luck!

Kara said...

Great idea!